Thursday, April 16, 2015

EITHER I'M TOO SENSITIVE/OR ELSE I'M GETTIN' SOFT.

I can't even tell if they're kidding anymore. Paula Bolyard at PJ Media:
What is it going to take for voters to turn on Hillary? I suspect it’s not going to be Benghazi, Filegate, Travelgate, Whitewater... But fear not, all is not lost. I do think there is one thing that would be guaranteed to sink Clinton in our shallow, cult-of-celebrity culture: Pictures of Hillary doing those “yoga routines” she said were in the emails she deleted from her servers. 
Imagine a picture of a sweaty, haggard-looking 67-year-old Clinton in yoga pants appearing on every Facebook feed, mobile device, and news outlet in the country. It would be a devastating blow to her campaign. (Think I’m exaggerating? See: Dukakis in the tank, Nixon in the first televised debate, and Howard Dean’s Rebel Yell for other examples of campaign-ending memes.) 
But this raises some questions. If you were in sole possession of the hypothetical picture of Hillary in yoga pants, would you leak it to the press and/or her opponent’s campaign? Is all fair in love and war — and campaigns?...
I just can't tell. It has some of the characteristics of irony, and it's possible the is-it-moral question is Bolyard's way of tipping us off that she's not serious. Or maybe it's only morality she's not serious about, because at the end she solicits reader input, and gets the sort you (and doubtless she) would expect ("You don't need yoga pix. The ones on the beach are just as good..").

It is difficult to escape the conclusion, uncharitable as it is, that her premise is actually, boy if we could get our hands on those yoga pictures that would be the end of Hitlery Klintoon!

Elsewhere at the same site:


For the time being I'm going to assume they're not in control of any rhetorical apparatuses, and are just free-associating ancient slurs in a kind of Tea-Party Tourette's.

UPDATE. Yeah, I know, if I go collecting lame anti-Hitlery stories we'll be here all day, but I am compelled to note this entry from William A. Jacobson of Legal Insurrection:
Hillary has an Elizabeth-Warren-Like Family Lore Problem
Contrary to stump speeches, only one of Hillary’s grandparents was an immigrant.
Gasp! It's #Gen-ghazi! Heritage is a big deal for Jacobson: You may recall his whole ugh-how-woo-woo-woo campaign against his previous hard-on, Elizabeth Warren. During Warren's 2012 Senate race, Jacobson was constantly frothing over her claims to Native American heritage. Warren somehow overcame this brilliant strategy, but Jacobson sticks at it to this day: See his April 6, 2015 post, "Jeb Bush is more Hispanic than Elizabeth Warren is Indian." (I think he just likes to take any excuse to think and talk about her, which may be why he was telling his presumably perplexed readers last December that Warren was a shoo-in to beat Clinton for the nomination.)

Really, if you're throwing the kitchen sink 18 months before the election, what will you have left to throw next fall?

269 comments:

  1. EITHER I'M TOO SENSITIVE/OR ELSE I'M GETTIN' SOFT.

    Probably both, LIEBERAL!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CCtZof5VAAAfs4C.jpg
    ~

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ellis_Weiner10:27 AM

    Love this. Link?

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  3. jcricket10:33 AM

    Letting loose the hounds of slur so early in the game. We all knew it would be thus once Hillary were to make an announcement.

    Now, all the wistfully ambitious commentariat are slapping those 25 year old pix of Maureen Dowd at the apex of her career onto their bathroom mirrors and refrigerator doors. "If they can see her, they can be her".

    It's good to have a goal.

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  4. coozledad10:34 AM

    Dukakis in the tank, Nixon in the first televised debate, and Howard Dean’s Rebel Yell for other examples of campaign-ending memes.

    Remember how the Romney campaign ended when it emerged that he'd played dress-up-cop while he was in college? Or forcibly sheared some kid's hair at prep school?
    If he'd fucked a Poland China hog in front of a preschool the Republicans would still have eaten his shit with a spoon.

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  5. Ellis_Weiner10:35 AM

    Scott Ott--wasn't he the villain in the second Tobey McGuire Spiderman movie? But seriously. You know better than that, Roy. They don't kid at PJ Media, nor is it involuntary like Tourette's. The site is like some ghastly Scientology "base," where everyone strives endlessly to remain in good standing. Lick the bathroom floor clean, write knowingly about yoga pants--whatever it takes.

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  6. Ormond10:35 AM

    A) Those historical examples, from Nixon to Dean, were incidents in which the superficial became emblematic of the larger problems with the campaigns. Which leads us to B) national elections are won or lost on material fundamentals like the economy or maybe demographics, not embarrassing gaffs (which only become memorable gaffs when the person who commits them ends up losing). And so because C) people - for the most part - like HRC (they really do, more so than they like almost any other national political figure except - sharp intake of breath - Obama. People hate hate hate all the Republicans they know about and, in fairness, most of the Democrats) and the economy is doing better than it was in 2007-8. We have D) if she were to appear in photos doing yoga, then your mom's racist bunko pals would say that she is a terrible embarrassment but the meme on the internet would be "HRC YOGA BOSSSS!!!" and everyone under the age of 40 would love her even more and the GOP still wouldn't have a contender.


    If I were a terrible person like Paula there. I would concentrate on not fucking up the world and making everybody hate/laugh at me. It would be more likely to result in electoral victory than strategizing ways to see grannies in their stretch pants.


    All of which is to say that, I don't know...Roy is the real racist here? BENGHAZI!?!

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  7. Ormond10:38 AM

    We have strong social science models with metrical grounds on which to measure these phenomena.
    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2005/11/04/rock-bottom/

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  8. coozledad10:41 AM

    Ahh, the good old days.
    Wonder what The Poor Man's up to.

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  9. So I'm not going to vote for someone because she looks icky.

    Fuck, we really are trapped on Planet Of The Fourteen-Year-Olds, aren't we?

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  10. Scott Ott - Bitten by a radioactive asshole at a GOP anti-Science fair...

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  11. Oh, hey. I think that's the manager of that first Wegmans, who booted us out of his upscale parking lot.

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  12. susanoftexas10:50 AM

    You go, Republicans. Keep reminding everyone that older women are ugly and disgusting. That'll keep older Democratic women, who are likely to vote anyway, home at election time.
    And your Republican wives? The ones that also vote, that were taught that men must be men, who saw their husbands drooling over Sarah Palin (now older and less nubile herself)? They won't mind at all.

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  13. Dr. Hunky Jimpjorps10:52 AM

    I have received word from five separate sources that a certain Chief Editor Korir has the yoga tapes in his possession and will be releasing them any day now.

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  14. Ellis_Weiner10:52 AM

    Black Mirror, episode 1.

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  15. Smurch10:53 AM

    "Tea-Party Tourette's" - Roy, you're a 21st century bard- that is some awesome phrase-making.

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  16. Please to never again use "Palin" and "nubile" in the same thought.

    Eww.

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  17. Monkey 310:59 AM

    After spending the previous six days dancing around the bonfire, chanting "KILL THE PIGGIE!", their Sabbath tongue-clucking about the Left's Lack Of Civility ought to be especially good this week.

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  18. Tea-Party Mixers: New Bile in Old Bottles!!!

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  19. You guys are all missing the real issue which I'm sure Rod Dreher would be pointing out, which is that yoga is an un-Christian practice and if she does it she is clearly planning to subject our country to Hindu law, which is even more exotic and evil (think Kama Sutra and spicy food) than Sharia. Be warned!!!!

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  20. Ted the slacker11:04 AM

    "If you were in sole possession of the hypothetical picture of Hillary in yoga pants, would you leak it to the press and/or her opponent’s campaign?"
    Erm, this is Murka, and the murkan thing to do would be to let the free market decide and sell them to the highest bidder.
    (Side point, I have millions of "hypothetical pictures" of famous people, any wingnuts want to buy the option on my photoshop skills? Maybe use that money the Nigerian prince promised you.)

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  21. susanoftexas11:12 AM

    My abject apologies!

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  22. susanoftexas11:12 AM

    That bile's going to eat through the glass.

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  23. DN Nation11:19 AM

    GIRL! COOTIES!

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  24. BTW, much, much thanks to a certain lurking "T.S." here.

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  25. M. Krebs11:43 AM

    Thing is, yoga has reached pretty much every county and hamlet with a non-barter based economy. Hasn't it?


    I think the PJ club confuses smear tactics with whatever juices their infantile yuk-yuks.

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  26. Dead_Andy_Breitbart11:47 AM

    "Let's pretend we have really awful pictures of Hillary! What would happen?"


    "Let's pretend Harry Reid was beaten up by his brother! Just imagine!"


    These are adults?

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  27. Helmut Monotreme11:48 AM

    My wife and I joke about quitting our jobs and opening "Skeeter's live bait shop and Yoga studio" someplace out in the boonies. So, yes. Yoga places are just about as common as video rental stores were back in the day.

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  28. The worms crawl in
    The worms crawl out
    The worms do pilates
    On your snout

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  29. M. Krebs11:58 AM

    Hillary Yoga Pix will be the new Whitey Tape.

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  30. mortimer200012:01 PM

    The commenters are obsessively yucking over how Clinton would look fat.
    Hmm, the Wide-y Tape?

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  31. John Wesley Hardin12:02 PM

    The asshole is claiming self-defense.

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  32. LittlePig12:04 PM

    insert sad trombone sound here

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  33. John Wesley Hardin12:06 PM

    "Insatiable lust for power" So that's a bad thing now? Asking for Vladimir Putin.

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  34. Not just adults, but "pundits," and the totems of almost half the country!


    Wheee!!!

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  35. FlipYrWhig12:13 PM

    You got that right, PJ Media! Zing! It's a good thing for conservatives that their favored candidates are all so photogenic that they couldn't possibly be embarrassed by a candid, in-action snap.

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  36. LittlePig12:14 PM

    Huma Abedin has been the mole all the time!

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  37. I can see such a tactic backfiring badly. Women are subject to so much body shaming that excoriating Hillary for merely trying to maintain her health could drive women to the polls.

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  38. Ha! Bringing reason to a goober fight.


    Ha! I say.

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  39. Oh, the mind pictures you paint, my friend...

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  40. Brian Schlosser12:25 PM

    Plus, she can totally pull your heart out through the power of Kali-Ma!

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  41. LittlePig12:30 PM

    See it? She knows it!

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  42. LittlePig12:33 PM

    Bravo!

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  43. Ho-boy. And it begins.


    The shit thrown at HRC over the next months (years) is going to make what Obama endure(s) look like a Cub Scout hazing at Jamboree.


    For the Republican base drooling gawpers a black man as Grand Poobah is a terrible thing, but a woman in that role is a calamity wrapped in a disaster inside a catastrophe.


    The vituperative, I fear, will overwhelm even my love of extremely stupid people doing and saying extremely stupid stuff. And my tolerance, nay, enjoyment, is off the fucking charts.

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  44. The Republican readjustment, their compassionate reach-out to women, has been very heartwarming.


    It's After-School Special.

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  45. John Wesley Hardin12:36 PM

    Just ask Vince Foster. Wait, you can't, cause she totally pulled his heart out. Soon Klintoon-Ma will rule the world!

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  46. LittlePig12:36 PM

    ..last seen in a flying head heading north-northeast...

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  47. John Wesley Hardin12:38 PM

    How long before we see a column suggesting that Hillary appoint Sarah Palin as her running mate, to prove she's really about women's equality?

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  48. LittlePig12:40 PM

    If he'd fucked a Poland China hog in front of a preschool the Republicans would still have eaten his shit with a spoon.

    This.

    "Dead girl or live boy is out,
    but they didn't say anything about
    that little swine o' mine..."

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  49. Remember when "lipstick on a pig" was double plus Hitler/"THE LIEBERALS ARE THE REAL MISOGYNISTS ARGLE BARGLE" when it was potentially (but not really) applied to Palin? But, literally applying lipstick and a pig nose to Hillary is a-okay.

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  50. tigrismus12:45 PM

    Imagine a picture of a sweaty, haggard-looking 67-year-old Clinton in
    yoga pants appearing on every Facebook feed, mobile device, and news
    outlet in the country. It would be a devastating blow to her campaign.



    That's one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever read. Did Jonah start using a pseudonym?

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  51. Brother Yam12:49 PM

    Let's hope he's distributing guns to all the good girls and boys.

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  52. Professor Fate12:50 PM

    it's 16 months from the election and the Right is already at the "ugh think Hillary ugly. Ugh no like." stage. it's enough to make one stock up on airplane glue.

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  53. Rand Careaga12:52 PM

    As to "nubile," I forget where I saw this drawing of (as Pierce likes to put it) Princess Dumbass of the North Woods, but it was around the time of the 2008 election, and as I recall it was not intended facetiously.

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  54. susanoftexas12:54 PM

    I hear Mario Cruz's parents left Cuba two years before Castro took over. Ooops.

    It's easy for family stories to become distorted but Papa Cruz evidently lied and said he fought against Castro. http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/06/cruz-father-bribed-to-immigrate-but-reform-is-unfair-to-those-who-follow-rules/

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  55. susanoftexas12:56 PM

    The glasses are a great touch. But she's going to have a problem getting up with her ass frozen to the ice pack. Didn't she see A Christmas Story?

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  56. LittlePig12:57 PM

    No, they are not. Being manifestations of pure id, their behavioral age varies between 2 to 14.

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  57. BigHank5312:57 PM

    Model glue is really expensive for the amount of toluene you actually get. Try a can of starting fluid at the local auto parts store: it's pretty much pure ether. Also, if you survive your first experiment with huffing, the leftover starting fluid is more useful than the leftover glue.

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  58. susanoftexas12:58 PM

    I picked the wrong time to give up sniffing glue./Airplane!

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  59. It's kinda "funny" but I bet for a ton of them they have completely forgotten the specifics of that and those that haven't can at best sputter "but but but that's not the same cause Hillary is bad"
    I already hate 2016. Even knowing the giants will win the world series isn't quite enough.

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  60. BadExampleMan1:02 PM

    I thought it was, "Boys, if you can beat me, you can eat me!"

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  61. LittlePig1:02 PM

    I know, right? It's nuts! I can't look at little Russert on my TV without laughing, and it's freakin' NBC, which oh by way produces a program that has fallen so far in my lifetime, it makes me wish I had never seen Idiocracy.

    Look what they done to my Meet The Press, Ma...

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  62. They are bad at self-evaluation, that's for sure.


    Huge Giants fan here, so I hear you on that!

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  63. LittlePig1:05 PM

    Man, I could have done without that trip down memory lane.

    The horror...the horror....

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  64. I seem to recall a professional photo shoot featuring Paul Ryan with a dumbbell and a bro-hat tilted just so. locked up the douchebag vote and people who try so hard. Thanks Time Magazine.

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  65. LittlePig1:08 PM

    You're welcome!!

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  66. Professor Fate1:09 PM

    From the Brothers:

    "Wondering what I'm doing tonight
    I've been in the closet and feel all right

    Ran out of Carbona Mom threw out the glue
    Ran out of paint and roach spray too"
    Carbona not Glue- The Ramones.

    ReplyDelete
  67. susanoftexas1:10 PM

    I accidently left the "r" out of his name once and now I think of him as Mr. Potato Head.

    ReplyDelete
  68. J Neo Marvin1:11 PM

    I like the image of Hilary as Kali Ma. Does she wear a necklace made from the heads of Cruz, Paul, Walker, et al?

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  69. BadExampleMan1:12 PM

    Climb in the Wayback Machine with me to 1998, if you will, and I will take you to the exact moment when I realized that the Clinton impeachment was going nowhere.


    Those were somewhat dispiriting days to be a Democrat. Clinton's shading of the truth was revealed in all its tawdryness, the press was baying for his blood, Sam Donaldson's carapace was on tv wondering if the Clinton presidency would be over in days, or hours, and there wasn't much internet yet to find like-minded peeps.


    I was driving through deepest Dumbfuckistan, from Memphis to Chattanooga, and I stopped to pee somewhere along I-40 at a truckstop with nothing but cotton and the smell of paraquat for miles around. And there, scrawled proudly in ragged black Sharpie on the plywood above the urinal, was the message "God Bless Bill Clinton He Is A Pussy Getting Motherfucker".


    And that's when I realized that, tv news, the New York Times, Newt Gingrich, and C-SPAN callers to the contrary, that the GOP had lost the country.

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  70. lol, I didn't see your handle at first but are you the same kdl from mcc?

    ReplyDelete
  71. Raoul Duke:
    [Narrating]
    Ah, devil ether. It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some
    early Irish novel. Total loss of all basic motor skills. Blurred vision,
    no balance, numb tongue. The mind recoils in horror, unable to
    communicate with the spinal column. Which is interesting because you can
    actually watch yourself behaving in this terrible way, but you can't
    control it. You approach the turnstiles and know that when you get
    there, you have to give the man two dollars or he won't let you inside.
    But when you get there, everything goes wrong. Some angry rotarian
    shoves you and you think "What's happening here? What's going on?" And
    you hear yourself mumbling...

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  72. BadExampleMan1:13 PM

    I believe it was tongue, and not lips that got frozen in that story.

    ReplyDelete
  73. J Neo Marvin1:15 PM

    As I said before on Roy'a Facebook, "We can't all be as pretty as Ted Cruz."

    ReplyDelete
  74. susanoftexas1:16 PM

    Zing!

    ReplyDelete
  75. LittlePig1:17 PM

    Anne Richards would dress up like a man, put on lipstick and a pig-nose, and walk around with a cigar making fun of Republicans. I can't remember the character's name (Forgive me, Molly Ivins), but she really really tweaked some Texas noses with that.

    I know that's the source some of the ancestral argle barble that now thunders down the decades.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Yes! How funny!

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  77. LittlePig1:19 PM

    Oh yeah. If Hillary wins they will reach levels of apoplexy undreamed of.

    Plus my popcorn futures will let me retire!

    ReplyDelete
  78. susanoftexas1:29 PM

    Winning and Losing: Diary of a Campaign

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ABC_Afterschool_Special

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  79. satch1:32 PM

    Just think of the photo ops when Chris Christie, as every serious Pug candidate must, goes to the Iowa State Fair this Summer and gets the inevitable corn dog thrust into his hand...

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  80. mgmonklewis1:32 PM

    HydroDerpic Acid.

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  81. the inevitable corn dog thrust down his throat

    Fixed.

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  82. zencomix1:37 PM

    Grocery stores and the electric company fear her. FIND OUT WHY!

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  83. satch1:37 PM

    "I can't even tell if they're kidding anymore."

    It's actually easy enough. They're NEVER kidding. Unless they've strayed so far over the top that they get called out for it, at which point they're like: "Come ON, can't you Libs take a JOKE??!!?"

    ReplyDelete
  84. mgmonklewis1:37 PM

    So many upvotes for specificity in "Poland China hog."

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  85. mgmonklewis1:42 PM

    More likely when he snaps his tether, rampages around the fairgrounds, and devours the butter sculpture of American Gothic. To which scene the pundits will swoon, "Leadership!"

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  86. Cato the Censor1:49 PM

    Q: Really, if you're throwing the kitchen sink 18 months before the election, what will you have left to throw next fall?
    A: You simply keep throwing it, over and over again, for the whole 18 months, ad nauseam (literally).

    ReplyDelete
  87. What, no dead coolie?

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  88. LittlePig1:59 PM

    "After these messages, we'll be riiiight back"

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  89. yoga? i hardly knew her!

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  90. PulletSurprise2:28 PM

    See also: The in-depth NYT analysis of Hillary's "potentially presidential burrito" order from Chipotle...

    Mrs. Clinton’s order was healthier than the average American’s order, with significantly fewer calories, saturated fat and sodium than most orders do. Specifically, almost 75 percent of meals ordered at Chipotle had more calories than Mrs. Clinton’s; about 75 percent had more sodium; and about 70 percent had more saturated fat.

    As it happens, Mr. Obama also seems to prefer Chipotle orders with many fewer calories than is typical. When he visited one in June 2014, he ordered a burrito bowl with white rice and guacamole, sparing himself the 300 calories that come automatically with every Chipotle tortilla.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/15/upshot/hillary-clintons-chipotle-order-above-average.html?abt=0002&abg=0&_r=0

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  91. I imagine by the convention lipsticked rubber pig snouts will be the party favour of the gop.

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  92. The Illogical One2:42 PM

    Harry Porko was the characters name...

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  93. Kali ma was my alternate choice of avatar.

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  94. P Gustaf2:46 PM

    And then the next eight years if need be.

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  95. willf2:46 PM

    Like the purple bandaids

    https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy30%2Frsan2332%2Fpat_peale_purple_heart_bandaid.jpg&f=1

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  96. ColBatGuano2:52 PM

    Yeah, these attacks are pretty dumb, but when the NY Times is trying to hype the State Departments response to a Issa inquiry as evidence of a Hillary cover-up, well, it's going to be a long 18 months.

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  97. Yes. Yes, we are.

    When I see people voting for a candidate based solely on the letter after the name, I know we're on Planet Child.

    Quite frankly, I'm astonished that the Republicans have not been able to dredge up some 40-something MILF from their back bench so they can run a woman and a hottie--something SURE to make up for all the policy deficits on their side.

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  98. War on Women? What War on Women?

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  99. Jaime Oria3:21 PM

    "Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his arsehole to blog?"

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  100. Ignorant of yoga too. Yoga done right does not make one sweaty or haggard.

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  101. Oh lordy, no. Please. Those purple band-aids were sickening, just ...sickening.

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  102. Rand Careaga3:27 PM

    This is the sort of thing that famously elicited (or ejaculated) "starbursts" from the National Review's Rich Lowry.

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  103. Hey, there's still the laundry-room sink, the bathroom sink, the toilet.

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  104. I'm hoping her VP nominee is Michelle Obama.

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  105. M. Krebs3:38 PM

    I love the smell of lacquer thinner in the morning.

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  106. redoubtagain3:57 PM

    Quite frankly, I'm astonished that the Republicans have not been able to dredge up some 40-something MILF from their back bench so they can run a woman and a hottie--something SURE to make up for all the policy deficits on their side.

    Been there, duh that.

    ReplyDelete
  107. redoubtagain4:00 PM

    I would pay folding money to see this. (Besides which, the heads are already pre-shrunken.)

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  108. Brother Yam4:07 PM

    Omahgerd, the nam-shub of Enki isn't an incantation, IT'S HITLERY CLINTON!

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  109. BG, puppet making crank calls4:11 PM

    Imagine a picture of a sweaty, haggard-looking 67-year-old Clinton in yoga pants appearing on every Facebook feed, mobile device, and news outlet in the country.

    We endured LBJ showing the country his gall bladder surgery scar, so I think we can endure pictures of an older woman exercising.

    http://imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/67/6729/5FRA100Z/posters/president-lyndon-johnson-shows-the-press-his-gall-bladder-surgery-scars.jpg

    Then again, perhaps we were far more mature in the 1960s than we are now ---

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  110. Not the way I do it! An hour of sivasana for every ten minutes of thst other stuff.

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  111. Im irdering mine from cafe press right now. Along with obscene themed hair bands. Im going to make a killing.

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  112. What about red sweaters? Are red sweaters off-base?

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  113. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person4:36 PM

    boy if we could get our hands on those yoga pictures that would be the end of Hitlery Klintoon!

    Ever since that study showing female candidates are less electable if their looks are mentioned in the media--pro or con--we've known the right wing would be all over it because class will out, amirite? Needless to say we can expect this shit for Hillary at least 24/7, and, if they can manage it, eight days a week...

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  114. Megalon4:39 PM

    If there's any occupation more worthless than "professional pundit" I can't imagine what it might be.

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  115. satch4:44 PM

    Well, Carly Fiorina has the Mean Girl demographic covered...

    http://www.salon.com/2010/06/09/carly_fiorina_open_mic_barbara_boxer_hair/

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  116. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person4:45 PM

    Be ready for 18 months of the stupidest thing you ever read every damn day. It'll either be a goldmine for Ed, or drive him--and us--to huffing oven cleaner....

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  117. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person4:47 PM

    Like having KICK ME I'M STUPID tattooed on your forehead. Why did they do that?

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  118. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person4:49 PM

    That as the pic I was thinking of when I posted above. And...I don't recall ever looking closely enough to spot the Hitler button. Doubleyew tee eff?...

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  119. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person4:53 PM

    And the NYT will once again pull out all the stops trying to prove--as if we needed it--that they ain't no damn Liebrulz...

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  120. They put her up for VP knowing full well how the office is (usually) largely ceremonial. I don't think anyone ever considered her as serious presidential material--not even Erick son of many Erics when he was fapping furiously to her image.

    I'm thinking they want someone like, say Liz Cheney but without all the Cheney-clan baggage her daddy has accumulated.

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  121. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person4:54 PM

    Won't need a radio to listen to Limbaugh, that's for sure.

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  122. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person4:56 PM

    I was just daydreaming of Republican wives sneaking out to vote for Hillary in droves, telling hubby they were going to the beauty shop...

    ReplyDelete
  123. Who among us could forget this:

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  124. More like, "If I just beat off to this picture, it will be just like meeting her!"

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  125. 'Shoppery. (I checked the kerning.)

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  126. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person5:02 PM

    Obligatory

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  127. Howlin Wolfe5:02 PM

    Yes and she doesn't have to shrink them.

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  128. Ryan with a dumbbell, you say?

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  129. I would soooooooooooo vote for that ticket! We'd all have to live in hazmat suits for a few weeks while wingnut heads exploded all across the country, but it would be worth it.

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  130. That's been taken care of:
    10. The Hideousness Factor – Lyndon Baines Johnson was the last profoundly ugly candidate to be elected president, and he was a legacy of the martyred JFK. Voters don't want a leader who looks frazzled or frumpy. We're told that Lincoln was too homely to be elected president in an age of television and paparazzi. But Lincoln's homely face had a dignity, a gravitas. If nothing else, we want a face that reassures us, not one that scares us, a la Night of the Living Alinskyites.

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  131. Mme. Bolyard does not not like Dr. Rand Paul either:
    Did you notice anything missing from Sen. Rand Paul’s speech on Tuesday announcing that he’s running for president? During the speech, Paul mentioned the word “liberty” eleven times and “government” seven times. There were, however, some important issues the senator from Kentucky neglected to talk about:
    Free Speech
    Religious Liberty
    Obamacare
    Second Amendment
    Sanctity of Life
    Common Core
    Marriage/Family
    Israel
    Faith Of course it's self-promotion; here's the orig.

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  132. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person5:22 PM

    You'd think his popularity jumping 10 points right after the impeachment was announced would have tipped off a few of them...

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  133. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person5:23 PM

    Where, on the lip?

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  134. montag25:28 PM

    "And that's when I realized... that the GOP had lost the
    country."

    And, wouldn't you just know it, the slippery fuckers got it back again, just two years later, in part by pretending to be upstanding god a-fearin' moral pillars of virtue that wouldn't do to the White House what those libertine Demoncrats did to it. And then they kept control for eight long, long, interminably long years.

    By their nature, elections are moveable feasts. I would never dismiss their capacity to twist the minds of the voters into pretzels. At this moment, all their presumptive candidates are shouting publicly about how wealth inequality is so, so terrible, while the GOP Congress is simultaneously trying to end the estate tax. And that shouting will undoubtedly have more of an electoral effect than their actions. They're a lot better at poaching issues than they are at embracing them. And it works.

    I have little doubt that the moment the yoga-pants photos surface, they will cue the right-wing preachers to renew the "yoga is Satanic" chant and they're off to the races.

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  135. M. Krebs5:34 PM

    From what I've heard, Lyndon would drop his drawers in a heartbeat to show you his cock.

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  136. montag25:37 PM

    Umm, even Wyoming didn't want Lizzie Borden Cheney for Senator. Truth is, they don't want a female President, period. They liked how Palin looked, not that she would be potentially running things. That they were willing to leave up to Manly John McCain, Crasher of Many Jets.

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  137. montag25:48 PM

    No, if you want to dissolve glass, you need aqueous HF, Hoveroundic Flatulinic Acid.

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  138. montag25:49 PM

    Where's the fucking helicopter?

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  139. Relativicus5:49 PM

    What'll they have next fall? Well, corn dogs in Iowa, for certain. Nobody looks good in those pics, but they're bound to see her looking worster than anyone in history (and the line forming for the Lewinsky tie-ins will be something to behold). Then there'll probably be thousands of awkward "weird blinking-face" outtakes to feast upon. Um... maybe they'll catch her mispronouncing "grits"?

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  140. montag25:58 PM

    Daddy Tim was definitely the Potato Head. Li'l Lukey is more of a fingerling.

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  141. In all seriousness, why not Liz Warren?

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  142. That needs an explanation, I mean what the hell?!

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  143. Wrong photo, he said Ryan not Screech from Saved By The Bell.

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  144. montag26:10 PM

    It would be entirely fair to say that anyone with an ego large enough to run for President would have an insatiable lust for power. And after the press saddled the occupant of the White House with that "leader of the free world" moniker, we're dealing with people who think they're entitled to run the entire world, not simply this country.

    Still, it's kinda cute that conservatives think that lust for power is a distinctly Dem attribute. It means they're doing their best to ignore that clown car that's coming to a screeching halt in the electoral center ring.

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  145. Bizarro Mike6:16 PM

    Crudely photo-shopped pics or it didn't happen.

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  146. montag26:19 PM

    Actually, she would fit in. She was a registered Republican for decades, until she had her come-to-Jesus moment about the FIRE sector. She's quite conservative on issues that are not within her academic forte'.

    Still, she and the nation are better off with her where she is. And, apparently, she understands that.

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  147. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person6:23 PM

    The Bush is gay website's explanation:

    Not only is George W. Bush gay, but he is also an exhibitionist! Dan from The Whiplads sent us this photo of Bush engaging in a threesome on the steps of the Capitol Building. White House Press Secretary Tony Snow later told The Media that this incident was "an important step in fighting terror" and assured everyone that despite zipper trouble, the three-way gangbang was "Mission Accomplished".


    I have no reason to doubt their veracity...

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  148. "Fox" pundit. Orders of magnitude more worthless, and while one hand is plucking "facts" out of its ass, the other's in your purse!

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  149. montag26:36 PM

    There is a possibly apocryphal story that LBJ was on tarmac of Andrews with a gaggle of reporters around him, and one asked him what he thought we were really fighting for in Vietnam. LBJ's response, reputedly, was: "'This', as he unzipped his fly and pulled out his not-insubstantial member."

    At the very least, the story served to indicate that he felt personally invested in the war....

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  150. That explains everything. Thanks.

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  151. M. Krebs8:50 PM

    There are times in life when one has to think of how good things might have been.
    https://youtu.be/srDHiOyunCA

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  152. http://up.xhamster.com/000/015/102/937_1000.jpg

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  153. Longitudinally Enabled8:53 PM

    Dude! A "NSFW" (or, more accurately, "NSFAnyone") next time, please?

    ReplyDelete
  154. susanoftexas9:05 PM

    You are dead to me now.

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  155. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person9:09 PM

    I'm guessing he'll inhale it so fast nobody will get a shot...

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  156. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person9:11 PM

    Small fries...

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  157. RogerAiles9:39 PM

    A: His well-loved feces.

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  158. Bitter Scribe10:13 PM

    Yeah she's an ugly broad, hur hur hur! If that doesn't knock her candidacy sideways, I don't know what will.

    BTW, in case you're wondering what the lovely creature called Paula Bolyard looks like, gaze upon her beauty.

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  159. Asking for Vladimir Putin.You misspelled "Ted Cruz."

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  160. M. Krebs10:40 PM

    What's that picture of Helen Reddy doing there?

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  161. M. Krebs10:49 PM

    Same, or not the same?

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  162. susanoftexas11:02 PM

    Heh, I was joking but I can't say I'm sorry that photo is gone.
    It's hard to be deadpan funny on the internet.

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  163. She's doing so much good as a senator. I remember when Obama started appointing dem senators to other offices (Hillary to Sec State). It was almost as if he didn't WANT a senate majority. Should of made Lieberman Sec State.

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  164. I thought Regan was profoundly ugly, inside and out. We used to call him "the 5th California Raisin". Ug.

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  165. PersonaAuGratin11:14 PM

    I think your voice recognition software needs some fine-tuning. It misheard "hairpiece" as "carapace."

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  166. AGoodQuestion11:22 PM

    Imagine a picture of a sweaty, haggard-looking 67-year-old Clinton in yoga pants appearing on every Facebook feed, mobile device, and news outlet in the country.


    It's spring now, Paula. The weather's warmer, the sidewalks are bare pavement. You can get out for awhile. Go for a nice walk. Talk to some actual people. Scratch that. You can listen to some actual people. Yeah, that might do you some good.

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  167. AGoodQuestion11:30 PM

    Imma guess that Sarah Palin being pretend pals with the hated Louis CK means she's lost her relevancy with the frothing base.

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  168. M. Krebs11:32 PM

    I say it should be a Clinton-Sharpton ticket. It would make Lee Atwater's ghost smile.

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  169. AGoodQuestion11:32 PM

    Nice wolf cape. Shot with an automatic from a hovering helicopter, I'm sure.

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  170. M. Krebs11:34 PM

    That's probably a pretty good estimate of her lips fifteen years from now.

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  171. M. Krebs11:37 PM

    Oh god. Louie is way too nice a guy.

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  172. AGoodQuestion11:41 PM

    I didn't know Jonah knew how to use a napkin, much less a pseudonym.

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  173. AGoodQuestion11:48 PM

    Some, but I wouldn't count on it happening en masse. Some of them are pretty Stockholm syndromed out.

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  174. AGoodQuestion11:52 PM

    I was about to say...

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  175. Socialist Cubone11:56 PM

    Never thought I'd see Sarah Vowell on Faces of Meth

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  176. AGoodQuestion12:00 AM

    Is that the cover photo for the homemade porn he was selling a while back?

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  177. AGoodQuestion12:06 AM

    Anyone who's still telling Lewinsky jokes in 2016 is beyond hack. Which is to say yer darn fuckin' tootin' that we'll be hearing a bunch of them.

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  178. AGoodQuestion12:10 AM

    Warren is basically a Scoop Jackson Democrat, for better and worse. She's looking out for consumers and debtors, but also believes Israel can do no wrong and attendant foreign policy judgments. That would give me pause even if she did decide to run, but I'm glad to have her in the Senate.

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  179. AGoodQuestion12:14 AM

    Eh, she's not bad. I'd certainly prefer looking at her to listening to her.

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  180. ckc_not_kc12:18 AM

    ...ah, cricket!

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  181. montag212:46 AM

    She must think Carly Fiorina is positively dazzling.

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  182. montag212:56 AM

    The "GOP anti-Science fair," where every exhibit is an open Bible and a stock certificate for one share of ExxonMobil.

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  183. montag21:12 AM

    " Should of made Lieberman Sec State."

    Hmm. I thought Obama was in favor of sort of nudging along the small wars, not starting the last one in human history.

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  184. BadExampleMan3:50 AM

    You heard me.

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  185. Curly fries, definitely undercooked.

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  186. At this moment, all their presumptive candidates are shouting publicly about how wealth inequality is so, so terrible, while the GOP Congress is simultaneously trying to end the estate tax.

    Sadly, you will never see or read a mainstream media piece in which these two things appear together. If, say, NBC News noted that Ted Cruz was talking publicly about wealth and income inequality while sponsoring a bill to end the Estate Tax, the screeching about LIBERAL BIAS!!!!11!!! would be audible in the Crab Nebula.

    And so the public will be pounded into believing that it's REPUBLICANS who are the champions of the middle class, and it's HILLARY who is doing the bidding of Wall Street and the uber wealthy. And it will work beautifully.

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  187. That's okay--Hillary said her grandparents were immigrants, but it turns out that only one of them was an immigrant, so that just destroys her credibility on any subject ever for eternity.

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  188. Halloween_Jack10:03 AM

    But if she did that, she'd have to cover herself with the highest SPF sunblock available, plus a big hat and sunglasses, or she'd burst into flames.

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  189. She and Trey Gowdy must have the same hair stylist, or more likely, the same head stylist.

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  190. Gabriel Ratchet10:06 AM

    Yeah, Nixon looked plenty reassuring, what with those movie-star good looks of his ...

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  191. Halloween_Jack10:07 AM

    As long as we're talking about Palin in a thread about unflattering yoga pictures, let's not hesitate to bring in this:

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  192. glennisw10:27 AM

    Yoga photos are the new Whitey tape!

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  193. Ellis_Weiner10:50 AM

    "Really, if you're throwing the kitchen sink 18 months before the election, what will you have left to throw next fall?"


    Another sink. The Kochs run a tab at Home Depot.

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  194. JennOfArk11:10 AM

    NaNookie of the North

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  195. JennOfArk11:18 AM

    I can only reply thus, as I always do:

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  196. NonyNony12:12 PM

    Jeebus wept. Seriously? Burrito analysis? We're 18 freaking months out from the actual election and we're already into in-depth burrito analysis?

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  197. J Neo Marvin12:54 PM

    It's just the fact that, uh, going through it, I mean if we could just cut....

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  198. I have no idea, but I'm upvoting just for sheer weirdness.

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